Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas hangover...Day 3

Yes, it's Day 3 of Christmas hangover. I think we all hit rock bottom today. The girls are sugar-gift crashing. I'm done with "you people". "You People" is the title I give my family when we've spent entirely too much family time together under one roof. I feel masses of guilt for saying this. I should be writing about how I wish I could spend every waking moment with my children and husband and how fleeting these moments are, but I can't. This happens toward the end of every extended vacation. It is customary for me to say,"You people, can go where ever you want. I'm going to go to 'somewhere' (this can be the grocery store, my sewing studio, my room, basically wherever I can be alone)." No one takes it personally, it's just I need my space.

First let me post a picture to wrap up the crazed frog, quilt, pajama making frenzy that I started in November...
In case you're not aware, Frog 1 went to my niece, Frog 2 my oldest Munchkin, and the one that wouldn't stop talking, to my youngest. The girls loved their PJs and their frogs.

Christmas day was a mixed bag of emotions for me.

It was wonderful watching my two girls unwrap their presents from Santa, Mommy and Daddy, and each other and smile with delight. It made me smile as they both squealed with glee over each package. And I enjoyed possibly the last Christmas my oldest will believe in Santa. She's 9 and is still buying into the myth. I'm trying to perpetuate it as long as I can. I remember when I found out that Santa wasn't was very disappointing.

On the flip side of watching my children, was everything that happened this summer and losing my Dad. The ache of almost losing my children has lessened, but it still lurks around. But the absence of my Father was almost unbearable. I cried several times on Christmas day and the days that led up to it. I tried to mask my sadness with all the traditions and rituals that my family has created for the holiday. On Christmas day, my Mother showed us some home movies that a cousin found of my Mother and Father, young and starting life with their new baby, me. Movies of my young Father in his undershirt, feeding his infant daughter in her infant seat, tickling her tummy and feet, making her smile and giggle. I miss him. He loved my Christmas cookies, he loved Christmas dinner, he ALWAYS made me coffee after dinner and made sure that there was half n half for me, and he always loved on the little girls and gave them too many M&Ms. His absence this Christmas was painful.

On a different note, I saw WALL-E on Christmas. I LOVED it! LOVE, LOVE, LOVED it! Hubbie got me an IPOD.....I LOVE it!

I did get some sewing in today. Worked on my Amy Butler/Ginger Blossom Log Cabin. Almost ready to put the top together. I still have some Christmas gifts to to follow.

My Hubbie loves me lots! He's been working feverishly on the Photo CD from my Guild's Quilt Show in September most of the day. He doesn't get paid for his time (well, not monetarily) and doesn't volunteer (I do that). But he's devoted several hours of his Sunday to producing a lovely photo CD for me. Big SMACK to Hubbie for all he does.

Well, I'm going to roll myself off the sofa now to go searching for one more glass of wine, check on Hubbie and see if he needs anything from me, and to see what movies are on tv (in that order)!


Kate said...

I love you. I know it is really hard. Am crying and going to go sew...

Shannon said...

I knew this Christmas would be especially difficult for you, but you sound like you weathered it as well as you could.

I'm glad you got some me time. I'm the same way. I find sewing without a purpose difficult so I'm trying to find a project to start. I think I'll make something for charity.

jacquie said...

sounds like christmas was bittersweet for you. i'm so sorry about your dad. have a wonderful start to the new year!